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Monday, March 3rd, 2008
10:57 am
[lauren_freak]
newbie
 

hello all
im new here
my names lauren and im 19 and i live in the uk
i have anorexia and severe depression although not diagnosed
and i have recently had 2 unsucsessful suicide attempts in the last week one of which resulted in me hearly being sectioned
I also hear voices and see things that arent really there
the voices tell me to kill my self and other people and that noone loves me and noone wud care if i died etc
i also see people bleeding, dead people, blood etc
i get big mood swings for no reason
i get axsious and paranoid and think that people are after me and my family
i get really angry and want to hurt people no one in particular
i self harm alot (cut my arms with razors) it helps a bit
i also drink and use illegal and perscription drugs to try and get some relief, sleeping helps too
i have recently been put on antideperssants i dont know wether they will work
i have seen doctors, councellors and psychiatrists none of them seem to help
i feel worthless, hopeless and that i deserve to die for being pathetic and wating to hurt other people
i also think that noone belives me and they think that i am making it up
i cant cope i just want it all to stop
my work and college and relationhips are suffering
but i have to stay strong and jus get over it because i am not ill, im not ill.
am i ill? or not? whats wrong with me ? how do i get a diagnosis? help!!
thanx for listening
lauren



Current Mood: aggravated
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